* listening to Jay Chou - Hui Dao Guo Qiu *

at a corner of this same room i am in now, that cute little baby that goes by the name Zhi Long isn't really sleeping like he's supposed to be. in fact, he's just turning left, right, up, down to ease what seems to be his immense boredom at being stuck in a bloody 4 by 4 crib. lol.

hmm.. nothing much has really happened. let's see. friday, a day at jp. to pay my respects to ah gong. as per normal, Wangan and ID. saturday. out with rain and tong to watch stay alive. okay la, not really that scary, though tong had her eyes shut/cover for like 1/2 the movie.. LOL. anyway, the sound system at cathy cineplex... wow. POWER. hear also damned shiok ah. haha. anyway, before i continue. that cute little guy is finally asleep. lol.. so ya. picking up from where i left. sunday. guai kia abit, accompanied my parents to suntec. they wanted to shop, so ya, i havent really developed the paitence and ability to shop together my parents. lol. so off to the arcade i went. anyway, saw kazer there. joked around some while doing the wangan highway with him and one other guy we joked as being my brother. why? simple. i was driving my FC, he was driving a yellow FD. shades of the takahashis there and of course, kazer being kazer. he pointed it out to much laughter between the both of us. haha.. but then again, had to leave early as my parents finished fast, so ya.. abit of a pang seh there.. lol.

so well. back to the now, the present. to say the truth, after all that happy stuff earlier, my mood just dropped. well. what can i say? you try your best to make her smile, laugh. anything to make that dark cloud above her disappear. do everything and anything for her, from searching the songs she wants to forking out money to buy for her that cute little bear she sees at the window, even ignoring the fact that the money you have isn't your own and hence not supposed to be spent in the first place. then patiently, time and again, withstand her tempers and tantrums with nothing but a smile and a word or two to calm down, to slowly explain her troubles and so on. in the end, what do i get? i been left unappreciated, treated as shit and what have you. dammit. i feel like screaming at the moment. hai~ as a spot of black humor, i'm contemplating suicide at the moment. heh. the 10 secs it takes from me to jump down from the 11th floor looks so tempting as compared to the chore of worrying about you EVERY FUCKING SECOND of my life, where, in the end, you just wouldn't even care...

hai~~ really donno. what i should do..