Enjoy the playlist on my blog, yeah?
lols.
Life in Mandai Hill camp hasn't really been as engaging as I thought it would be. For the past few days, more time was spent sleeping/eating/PSP/sai kang than on actual driving. Perhaps the timing of which I arrived into camp is to be blamed - they were, after all, in the process of revamping the whole system [ which, I would like to add - it basically turns us drivers into mindless robots, but how/what/where/when/why, heh. That's another story for another time ] And it doesn't help much when I need to finish my orientation driving [ of 1,000 KM ] before I can be put onto the duty roster.
And good news though. I am eligible for the driving license ONLY AFTER 22 months of National Service + 7,000 KM mileage. Meaning to say that, I'll only see that green card 2 months before I ORD. WONDERFUL LAH. Makes me wonder why the hell I procrastinated so much about it back then. I guess it's time to finish what I started, yeah?
Anyway, Christmas is around the corner. And speaking of which ..
Santa, can you give me a girlfriend for Christmas? =P
And good news though. I am eligible for the driving license ONLY AFTER 22 months of National Service + 7,000 KM mileage. Meaning to say that, I'll only see that green card 2 months before I ORD. WONDERFUL LAH. Makes me wonder why the hell I procrastinated so much about it back then. I guess it's time to finish what I started, yeah?
Anyway, Christmas is around the corner. And speaking of which ..
Santa, can you give me a girlfriend for Christmas? =P
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress.How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.
The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.
---
This joke's really old, but hey, a joke's a joke ..
hua Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius ...
Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !
Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right ?
Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load(road),den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah
Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah !Use your Blain(brain), use your blainnn ..........
Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight (correct) or not?
Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn . you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!
Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah ...... best in Singapore and JB, and some say Batam also ah !!!
---
Hello Kitty awakens during the night to find her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of the night?".
Ah lau looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes, I do" she replies.
Ah lau paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?".
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
Ah lau continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or i'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,
"I would have been released today."
---
I'm a bit lazy [ as usual -.- ] so I guess I'll leave the blogging to tomorrow ..
In the meantime, good night [ or rather, morning :) ] all.
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.
The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.
---
This joke's really old, but hey, a joke's a joke ..
hua Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius ...
Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !
Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right ?
Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load(road),den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah
Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah !Use your Blain(brain), use your blainnn ..........
Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight (correct) or not?
Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn . you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!
Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah ...... best in Singapore and JB, and some say Batam also ah !!!
---
Hello Kitty awakens during the night to find her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of the night?".
Ah lau looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes, I do" she replies.
Ah lau paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?".
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
Ah lau continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or i'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,
"I would have been released today."
---
I'm a bit lazy [ as usual -.- ] so I guess I'll leave the blogging to tomorrow ..
In the meantime, good night [ or rather, morning :) ] all.
For a spot of humor, eh?
17. Pray for Mercy, Sucker!
16. Prepare My Shit-List
15. Precarious Mental State
14. Punching Men Senseless
13. Pit Bull in Mini-skirt and Stilettos
12. Pouty Mouth Syndrome
11. Punish My Spouse
10. Please Meet Satan
9. Pass My Shotgun
8. Psychotic Mood Shift
7. Perpetual Munching Spree
6. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make Me Sick
4. Provide Me with Sweets
3. Pardon My Sobbing
2. Pimples May Surface
1. Putting up with Men's Shit
From a Male Perspective:
1. Protect My Scrotum (from incoming kick in the balls)
2. Pleasant Mammary Swellings
Things that PMS stands for:
From a Female Perspective:17. Pray for Mercy, Sucker!
16. Prepare My Shit-List
15. Precarious Mental State
14. Punching Men Senseless
13. Pit Bull in Mini-skirt and Stilettos
12. Pouty Mouth Syndrome
11. Punish My Spouse
10. Please Meet Satan
9. Pass My Shotgun
8. Psychotic Mood Shift
7. Perpetual Munching Spree
6. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make Me Sick
4. Provide Me with Sweets
3. Pardon My Sobbing
2. Pimples May Surface
1. Putting up with Men's Shit
From a Male Perspective:
1. Protect My Scrotum (from incoming kick in the balls)
2. Pleasant Mammary Swellings
Thanks for the jokes. [ you know who you are .. ]
Can't imagine life without your E - mails dude ..
---
A woman wakes up in the middle of the night when she hears noise in the corridor.
Panicked, she shakes up the guy sleeping next to her saying: 'wake up, get the hell out, my husband is coming!'
The guys wakes up from a deep sleep and hurries to the window and jumps out.
He lands butt naked in a spiny rose bush, 1 floor down.
He then walks back in the house, covered in blood and dirt, up into the bedroom and yells:
'Betty, I am you F#@%ing husband!!'
---
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function.
He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 am , drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh, THAT!...Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed.....
"Leave me alone, b*tch, I'm married!!!".
Can't imagine life without your E - mails dude ..
---
A woman wakes up in the middle of the night when she hears noise in the corridor.
Panicked, she shakes up the guy sleeping next to her saying: 'wake up, get the hell out, my husband is coming!'
The guys wakes up from a deep sleep and hurries to the window and jumps out.
He lands butt naked in a spiny rose bush, 1 floor down.
He then walks back in the house, covered in blood and dirt, up into the bedroom and yells:
'Betty, I am you F#@%ing husband!!'
---
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function.
He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 am , drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh, THAT!...Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed.....
"Leave me alone, b*tch, I'm married!!!".
Three men were sitting together recounting how they had given their new wives duties.
The first man had married a woman from Albania and boasted that he had told his wife she must do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done at their house. He said that it took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Korea. He said he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results but the next day it was better. By the third day his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married an Irish girl.
He said that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table every day.
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.
---
Woman power eh?
Okay, jokes aside. As of tomorrow, the 7th of December, 2007, I am attached to Mandai Hill camp. [ for the simple reason that they don't have enough drivers there -.-""" ] ZZZ. And just like that, the army has dashed my dreams of being a stay - out personnel. I must really wonder what I did to piss off the big guy up there, yeah? But anyway, so many others before my time have it worst then me [ and not to forget, there's 13 other jokers who are suffering from the same fate as me ] and heh, I don't really have much to bitch about either, do I?
[Sarcasm] Well, other then that, there's also a bit of a cheer this festive season. I will need about 6,400km worth of mileage to convert to my civilian class 3. [/Sarcasm]
Heh. Isn't my life wonderful?
The first man had married a woman from Albania and boasted that he had told his wife she must do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done at their house. He said that it took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Korea. He said he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results but the next day it was better. By the third day his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married an Irish girl.
He said that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table every day.
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.
---
Woman power eh?
Okay, jokes aside. As of tomorrow, the 7th of December, 2007, I am attached to Mandai Hill camp. [ for the simple reason that they don't have enough drivers there -.-""" ] ZZZ. And just like that, the army has dashed my dreams of being a stay - out personnel. I must really wonder what I did to piss off the big guy up there, yeah? But anyway, so many others before my time have it worst then me [ and not to forget, there's 13 other jokers who are suffering from the same fate as me ] and heh, I don't really have much to bitch about either, do I?
[Sarcasm] Well, other then that, there's also a bit of a cheer this festive season. I will need about 6,400km worth of mileage to convert to my civilian class 3. [/Sarcasm]
Heh. Isn't my life wonderful?
This is old, but still, funny.
I still remember the day when everyone was like, going to chop me up and use my bones for curry for the stupid reason of not having a tagboard on my blog. Now, I have one up, only to see that nobody is spamming away -.-. So, do me a little favour and tag? [ at least, once in a while? I do appreciate a bit of quiet - ness now and then but not this quiet .. -.- ]
Lols.
Been doing soul - searching, aplenty. I thought I had it all answered and explained. But no. There's still a lot of fears within me, a lot of questions still unanswered. I'm still confused. That light at the end of the tunnel didn't meant peace for me. It just simply meant that there was still a lot more things I must do.
It's a long way to the top ..
I still remember the day when everyone was like, going to chop me up and use my bones for curry for the stupid reason of not having a tagboard on my blog. Now, I have one up, only to see that nobody is spamming away -.-. So, do me a little favour and tag? [ at least, once in a while? I do appreciate a bit of quiet - ness now and then but not this quiet .. -.- ]
Lols.
Been doing soul - searching, aplenty. I thought I had it all answered and explained. But no. There's still a lot of fears within me, a lot of questions still unanswered. I'm still confused. That light at the end of the tunnel didn't meant peace for me. It just simply meant that there was still a lot more things I must do.
It's a long way to the top ..
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