Enjoy :)
* Taken from some guy's post at www.sgforums.com. Kudos to them for sharing.
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Rules for Male, Written by Female
1. The Female always makes The Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.
7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding. )
8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.
15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.
17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!
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And this one is the guy's side of the story. [Must be fair mah, right?]
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Please Note: these rules are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying IS Blackmail
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do NOT work!
Strong hints do NOT work!
Obvious hints do NOT work!
Just say it!
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago, is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become NULL and VOID after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done.
NOT BOTH
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, PLEASE say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and NEITHER do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a FRUIT, not a colour.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have NO idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We KNOW you are lying,
but it is just NOT worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...REALLY!!
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about UNLESS
you are prepared to discuss such topics as Soccer or Baseball
1. You have ENOUGH clothes.
1. You have TOO MANY shoes.
1. I AM in shape. Round IS a shape!