One of my friends E - mailed me this jokes.
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A word of caution: this joke MIGHT offend malaysians ..
Three Malaysians and 3 Singaporeans are traveling by train to a conference in Thailand. At the station, the three Malaysians each buy tickets and watch as the three Singaporeans buy only a single ticket
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks the Malaysian.
"Watch and you'll see," answers the Singaporean.
They all board the train. The Malaysians take their respective seats but all three Singaporeans cramped into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Malaysians saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Malaysians decide to copy the Singaporeans on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Singaporeans don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Malaysian. "Watch and you'll see..Boleh?" answers an Singaporean.
When they board the train, the three Singaporeans cramp into a restroom and the three Malaysians cramp into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Singaporean leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Malaysians are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
---The little girl comes running in to her mother who’s in the kitchen.
She’s carrying a book and she looks up to her mother and asks:
“Mummy, what are ‘fox paws’?
“Fox paws?” her mother asks. “What do you mean?”
“See,” says the little girl, holding up her book and pointing, “‘fox
paws’!”
“Oh,” say her mother. “You mean ‘faux as’ (ed. correctly pronounced)!
It’s French, you know (ed. roll your rrrr’s), ‘faux pas’.”
“I see, but what does it mean, mummy?”
“Well, it means a ‘faux pas’, you know. It’s French!”
“I don’t understand, mummy.”
“Well, let me explain. Do you recall last week when the Vicar was here
for tea?”
“Uh huh.”
“And do you recall when we went out into garden to see the flowers?”
“Uh huh.”
“And do you remember when he was smelling the roses and he pricked his
finger horribly on a thorn, and was just bleeding all over everywhere?”
“Uh huh.”
And do you remember later that afternoon when we were in the drawing
room about to have tea and you walked in and said ‘Hello Vicar. How’s
your prick?’ and I said ‘Oh shit!’ and dropped the teapot?”
“Uh huh.”
“Well, THAT’s a faux pas!”
[ FYI, Faux Pas is french for a mistake or blunder of some sort. ]---
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.”
“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past.
I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.”
“No problem,” the tired Navy man assured him. “I’ll take it.” The next morning, the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy tailed. “How did you sleep?” asked the manager. “Never better.” The manager was impressed. “No problem with the other guy snoring?” “Nope. I shut him up in no time,” said the Navy guy.
“How did you manage that?” asked the manager.
“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” the sailor explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, ‘Goodnight beautiful,’
…and he sat up all night watching me.”