If I may, life in camp for this few weeks can be surmised into this five words.
Driving, Driving and more Driving.
But other then that, I will have to say that I'm a lot more fortunate compared to my friends out there studying, working etc. After all, no matter how I look at it .. What I do [ or rather, drive =P ] is a lot more slack compared to what they have to face .. lols.
So, back to topic: I wonder what the fish am I always bitching about at the end of the day when so many others have it worst then me.
--
Tomorrow's my book - out day .. hopefully, nothing funny happens. Rumors aplenty about being called back this weekend but at times like this, I will pretty much prefer to live life one day at a time. :)
---
Anyway, enjoy the blog song peeps.
:)
One of my friends E - mailed me this jokes.
---
A word of caution: this joke MIGHT offend malaysians ..
Three Malaysians and 3 Singaporeans are traveling by train to a conference in Thailand. At the station, the three Malaysians each buy tickets and watch as the three Singaporeans buy only a single ticket
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks the Malaysian.
"Watch and you'll see," answers the Singaporean.
They all board the train. The Malaysians take their respective seats but all three Singaporeans cramped into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Malaysians saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Malaysians decide to copy the Singaporeans on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Singaporeans don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Malaysian. "Watch and you'll see..Boleh?" answers an Singaporean.
When they board the train, the three Singaporeans cramp into a restroom and the three Malaysians cramp into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Singaporean leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Malaysians are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
---The little girl comes running in to her mother who’s in the kitchen.
She’s carrying a book and she looks up to her mother and asks:
“Mummy, what are ‘fox paws’?
“Fox paws?” her mother asks. “What do you mean?”
“See,” says the little girl, holding up her book and pointing, “‘fox
paws’!”
“Oh,” say her mother. “You mean ‘faux as’ (ed. correctly pronounced)!
It’s French, you know (ed. roll your rrrr’s), ‘faux pas’.”
“I see, but what does it mean, mummy?”
“Well, it means a ‘faux pas’, you know. It’s French!”
“I don’t understand, mummy.”
“Well, let me explain. Do you recall last week when the Vicar was here
for tea?”
“Uh huh.”
“And do you recall when we went out into garden to see the flowers?”
“Uh huh.”
“And do you remember when he was smelling the roses and he pricked his
finger horribly on a thorn, and was just bleeding all over everywhere?”
“Uh huh.”
And do you remember later that afternoon when we were in the drawing
room about to have tea and you walked in and said ‘Hello Vicar. How’s
your prick?’ and I said ‘Oh shit!’ and dropped the teapot?”
“Uh huh.”
“Well, THAT’s a faux pas!”
[ FYI, Faux Pas is french for a mistake or blunder of some sort. ]---
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.”
“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past.
I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.”
“No problem,” the tired Navy man assured him. “I’ll take it.” The next morning, the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy tailed. “How did you sleep?” asked the manager. “Never better.” The manager was impressed. “No problem with the other guy snoring?” “Nope. I shut him up in no time,” said the Navy guy.
“How did you manage that?” asked the manager.
“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” the sailor explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, ‘Goodnight beautiful,’
…and he sat up all night watching me.”
This is rather intriguing.
---
Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumour.
In ancient Greece (469-399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance that ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
"Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student, let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued.
"You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really..."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"
The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why he never found out that Plato was banging his wife.
---
Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumour.
In ancient Greece (469-399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance that ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
"Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student, let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued.
"You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really..."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"
The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why he never found out that Plato was banging his wife.
There's a few tempers brewing around so I think a little bit of comic relief is needed ..
---
Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in to other people's business.
Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the towns only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away.
He didn't explain, defend, or deny ...
He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ... walked home ... and left it there all night.
---
---
Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in to other people's business.
Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the towns only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away.
He didn't explain, defend, or deny ...
He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ... walked home ... and left it there all night.
---
Enjoy.
---
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who worked at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
---
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
---
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
---
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
You got Male!
---
This joke is from Rain. LOLS.
3 bro Bu, Chu and Fu went illegally to live in America. The brothers decided to change their names to seem American. Bu change his name to BUCK, Chu change his name to CHUCK, FU got send back to china.
---
---
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who worked at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
---
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
---
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
---
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
You got Male!
---
This joke is from Rain. LOLS.
3 bro Bu, Chu and Fu went illegally to live in America. The brothers decided to change their names to seem American. Bu change his name to BUCK, Chu change his name to CHUCK, FU got send back to china.
---
And this is what I had for dinner.
Herbal chicken soup + generous filling of fish paste and rice + a little bit of meat.
Wow. I feel like a pig already .. =p
---
A few jokes before I hit that little thing that charges $2.80 the moment you step into it ..
-
At the end of a marathon shopping trip, I fumbled in my pocket for my credit card to pay for a lovely blouse.
"I'll have to resort to this—I'm out of cash," I told the distinguished gentleman who was waiting on me.
Noticing his surprised smile, I glanced down and realized that I had handed him the key card to my hotel room.
---
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says... "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style, it makes your nose look too short!"
---
Okay. Duty calls ..
Ciao ~
Herbal chicken soup + generous filling of fish paste and rice + a little bit of meat.
Wow. I feel like a pig already .. =p
---
A few jokes before I hit that little thing that charges $2.80 the moment you step into it ..
-
At the end of a marathon shopping trip, I fumbled in my pocket for my credit card to pay for a lovely blouse.
"I'll have to resort to this—I'm out of cash," I told the distinguished gentleman who was waiting on me.
Noticing his surprised smile, I glanced down and realized that I had handed him the key card to my hotel room.
---
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says... "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style, it makes your nose look too short!"
---
Okay. Duty calls ..
Ciao ~
I was bored, so I gave this a try.
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
There's this unit anniversary thingy this friday [ And it clashes with Kaiqi's little BBQ so one can only guess the insane amount of travelling I will have to do on that day! ]
Hopefully, I'll be able to make it [ at a very late timing, of course. -.- ]
Anyway, this is the cheer my unit came out. Judge for yourself if it's retarded/stupid/lame/whatever.
The End.
Hopefully, I'll be able to make it [ at a very late timing, of course. -.- ]
Anyway, this is the cheer my unit came out. Judge for yourself if it's retarded/stupid/lame/whatever.
The End.
I'm starting to worry for a friend of mine. He's been acting very weird this few days and frankly speaking, it's nothing good. For now, he's ok and all but .. I really don't know. And it's not helping when your only means of communication with said troubled friend is through a gadget the size of your palm.
Yet, troubled soul he is .. one part of me wants to pound him into the ground for being such an out - of - character attention seeking asshole. BUT .. another part of me is full of sympathy for all the things that has happened and make him be that out - of - character attention seeking asshole. BUT YET .. I also find it hard not to sympathize with the other party for all the endless frustrations that has come in between them. And even then, I don't want to come down to the point of having to judge who is wrong or right. [ that should be the work of a higher being other then me, of course. ]
At times .. I really wonder if knowing too much can be a burden instead.
---
So .. to divert myself from the abovementioned .. I fell in love with this badge. [ I'm just being random yeah .. xD ] Jokes about signing on the army aside .. Seriously, I actually find it to be one of the more "artistically" inclined badges in the SAF .. =D
---
Okay. Anyway, the following video is a collection of funny moments from this variety programme in japan. Well .. Japanese + english class = LOL! :)
---
Wow .. even my nieces have their own blogs. Yeah, you can say that I'm a bit of a swa ku here .. hehehehe.
---
And yeah, one last thing: Rain, I borrow your little joke ah. ~
Title: Practical Application
(From Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul II)
He's teaching her arithmetic,
He said it was his mission,
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said,
"Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack
In silent satisfaction,
She sweetly gave the kisses back and said,
"Now that's subtraction."
Then he kissed her, she kissed him,
Without any explanation,
And both together smiled and said,
" That's multiplication. "
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and
Made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away
And said, " That's long division! "
---
Yet, troubled soul he is .. one part of me wants to pound him into the ground for being such an out - of - character attention seeking asshole. BUT .. another part of me is full of sympathy for all the things that has happened and make him be that out - of - character attention seeking asshole. BUT YET .. I also find it hard not to sympathize with the other party for all the endless frustrations that has come in between them. And even then, I don't want to come down to the point of having to judge who is wrong or right. [ that should be the work of a higher being other then me, of course. ]
At times .. I really wonder if knowing too much can be a burden instead.
---
So .. to divert myself from the abovementioned .. I fell in love with this badge. [ I'm just being random yeah .. xD ] Jokes about signing on the army aside .. Seriously, I actually find it to be one of the more "artistically" inclined badges in the SAF .. =D
---
Okay. Anyway, the following video is a collection of funny moments from this variety programme in japan. Well .. Japanese + english class = LOL! :)
---
Wow .. even my nieces have their own blogs. Yeah, you can say that I'm a bit of a swa ku here .. hehehehe.
---
And yeah, one last thing: Rain, I borrow your little joke ah. ~
Title: Practical Application
(From Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul II)
He's teaching her arithmetic,
He said it was his mission,
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said,
"Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack
In silent satisfaction,
She sweetly gave the kisses back and said,
"Now that's subtraction."
Then he kissed her, she kissed him,
Without any explanation,
And both together smiled and said,
" That's multiplication. "
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and
Made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away
And said, " That's long division! "
---
I love this song ..
---
---
Only you can make oh this world seem right
Only you can make the darkness bright
Only you and you alone
Can thrill me like you do
And fill my heart with love for only you
Only you can make oh this change in me
For it's true you are my destiny
When you hold my hand I understand
The magic that you do
You're my dream come true
My one and only you
Only you can make this change in me
For it's true you are my destiny
When you hold my hand I understand
The magic that you do
You're my dream come true
My one and only you
---
---
Only you can make oh this world seem right
Only you can make the darkness bright
Only you and you alone
Can thrill me like you do
And fill my heart with love for only you
Only you can make oh this change in me
For it's true you are my destiny
When you hold my hand I understand
The magic that you do
You're my dream come true
My one and only you
Only you can make this change in me
For it's true you are my destiny
When you hold my hand I understand
The magic that you do
You're my dream come true
My one and only you
If you see this line, consider yourself warned. [ Actually, it's more for those who can't stomach the slightest reference to sex. ]
---
A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house, I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90; the Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50 and I get $43 back from Medicare."
---
A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house, I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90; the Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50 and I get $43 back from Medicare."
I don't really know whether there's any sort of truth behind this supersitition but a certain Andy Wong Wai Leong once told me that when you sneeze twice in a row, it means someone is thinking about you.
And I have been doing just that for quite a number of times already.
=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
[ Gosh .. how thick - skinned can I get! =D ]
--
Thick skins aside .. 11 mths more to ORD!
=D
And I have been doing just that for quite a number of times already.
=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
[ Gosh .. how thick - skinned can I get! =D ]
--
Thick skins aside .. 11 mths more to ORD!
=D
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