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An elderly couple had been dating each other for 30 years and, at the urging of their friends and family, the finally decided it was time to get married. But first, they agreed they should work out the details of how their marriage was going to be, as to avoid any let downs or misunderstandings.
So the older couple went out to a nice dinner and had a long conversation about how their marriage is going to work. They discussed living arrangements, finances and other important stuff. Finally, the older gentleman decided it was time to bring up the subject of their physical relationship.
“How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather trustingly yet intrigued.
“Well,” she said, trying to choose her words carefully, “I’d have to say… I would like it infrequently.”
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and casually asked… “Is that one word or two?”
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Not too long ago, a large seminar was held for ministers and reverends in training.
Among the facilitators were many well-known motivational speakers. One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The crowd was shocked!
He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"
The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.
About a week later, one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him.
Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
His congregation sat shocked, murmuring.
After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"
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There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, “I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much.”
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, “I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much.”
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, “I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.”
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.
--- DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
And lastly !
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
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Anyway, while on duty this two days, I spotted something rather .. interesting. :) [ Taken at a public toilet at where I'm currently at but I can't really say where because I have no intention whatsoever of inviting Military Security Department to my house for a cup of tea/kopi/whatever. ]
You just gotta appreciate this guy's sense of humor eh?
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Anyway, I noticed this as well. My blog song .. hmm .. the name of the band .. well .. it sounds like something you can order from a kopitiam [ LOL! ]
Other then that, I really love the rousing electric guitar solo at the start. WOW.
And so! To end this very senseless of a blog post, here's the lyrics [ for those who can't understand what he's singing about :) ]
深夜里, 无法习惯没有你
不愿意再走下去
这距离, 痛得我不能呼吸
难忘记你的失去
多少眼泪都无所谓
我闭上眼睛不能入睡
只希望你给我一些安慰
这些眼泪我无所谓
真心的对待最珍贵
我回头想起爱情的甜美
永远不后悔
牵领我进入睡梦追随
重温过去，我们俩梦中相依偎
虽是梦幻， 愿沉醉