I need humor, really. I really don't know .. Is it a case of too little, too late?

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*Warning - Not your run in the mill joke.


Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients but felt really guilty about it all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.

The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming but once in a while he'd hear a reassuring voice inside him say

"Dave, you wouldn't be the first doctor to sleep with one of the patients and you won't be the last plus you're single so just let it go.

But invariably there would be the other voice that would bring him back to reality whispering...

"But Dave you're a Vet..."


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* This one is a bit chim .. you might take a while to understand. :)

Johnny sits down at the bar, orders a drink and holds his head in his hands.

When the bartender comes back, Johnny is swearing softly under his breath and shaking his head.

"Hey Johnny, what's happening?" asks the bartender.

"I'm in DEEP SHIT," Johnny replies. "I just got caught screwing my neighbour."

"Oh wow!" says the barman, "Who caught you? Your wife or her husband?"

"No," said Johnny, "HIS wife!"

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* This one is quite common but nonetheless, enjoy the laughs :)

One day, there was 3 people about to be executed by electric chair. They were a Lawyer, an Accountant, and a Electrician.

The Lawyer was up first. He was asked if he had any last words. He said,"From now on i will be honest if you save me God." they threw the switch and magically he was not electrocuted. The warden said, "God has forgiven you so you will be let go"

The Accountant was up next. He was asked if he had any last words. He said,"From now on i will not steal if you let me go god"they threw the switch and magically he was not electrocuted. The warden said, "God has forgiven you so you will be let go"

The Electrician was up next. He was asked if he had any last words. He said,"You wont be electrocuting anybody if you dont plug in the chair."

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The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband's 'little soldier' can't salute anymore.

She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her. The doctor thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, "Listen, I don't do this for everyone, but get this prescription, and put three drops in his milk before he goes to bed."

The wife is very happy and thanks the doc profusely.

Two weeks later, the doctor sees the woman and asks how it went.

The lady blushes, smiles and says, "Well I put thirty drops in his milk by accident, and well, we just need an antidote now to close the coffin."

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