This is really kinda true. =D
Okay. Off I go then - Meeting Elmo and gang later for a few games of Dota and whatnots. I'm always late in meeting them, so .. I shall try to be early for this once =P
Yet again, I don't have anything much to blog about. Heh. Enjoy the video and joke :)
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”House” for instance, is feminine: ”la casa.” ”Pencil,” however, is masculine: “el lapiz.” A student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’?’ ‘
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ”computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men’s group decided that ”computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (”la computer”), because:
- No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
- The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
- Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;
- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(No chuckling… this gets better!)
The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (”el computer”), because:
- In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
- They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;
- They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
- As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
POP LOR!
Yeah, this entry is one week late. Finally, BMT is over. And with it, the 1 week long break that accompanies it is coming to an end. With just 4 hrs or so before I book in, the urge to go get an MC or something along that line comes back greater then ever. BUT .. lame ideas aside, here's some laugther therapy [ courtesy of sgforums.com ] for myself [ and for any other poor soul in need of some TLC. ]
--------
A cowboy rides into town and stops at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals have a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finishes his drink, he finds his horse has been stolen.
He goes back into the bar, flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head and fires a shot into the ceiling.
"Which one of you yahoos stole my horse?" he yells forcefully.
No one answers.
"All right!! I'm going to have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm going to have to do what I did back in Texas...and I
don't LIKE having to do what I did in Texas!"
The locals now get a bit nervous..
The cowboy has another beer, and then walks outside to find that his horse has been returned. He saddles up and starts to ride out of town. As he does, the bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, "Say, partner, before you go.......tell us, what exactly did you do back in Texas?''
The cowboy turned back and says sheepishly, "Oh, I had to walk home."
--------
Three Texan cowboys get drunk and end up n jail. They then find out that they are to be executed for their crimes--but none of them can remember what they have done.
The first one strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am from the Baylor School of Divinity and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent."
The guards throw the switch nothing happens. They figure that God must not want this guy to die, and they let him go.
The second one is strapped in and gives his last words: "I'm from the University of Texas School of Law and I believe that justice will always intervene on the part of the innocent."
The switch is thrown and again nothing happens. The guards figure that the law is on this guy's side and also let him go.
The last one is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm an electrical engineer--and I'll tell you right now you'll never electrocute anyone if you don't connect those two wires first!!"
--------
Two guys leave a bar after a long night of drinking, jump in the car and start it up. After a few minutes, an old man appears by the passenger window and taps lightly on it. The passenger screams, "Look! There's an old ghost's face there!"
The driver speeds up, but the old man's face stays in the window. The passenger rolls his window down and, scared out of his wits, says "What do you want?"
the old man replies, "Have you got any cigarette to spare?"
The passenger hands the man a cigarette and yells, "Step on it," to the driver, rolling up the window in terror.
A few minutes later they calm down and start laughing again. The driver says, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry, the speedometer says we're doing 80 now."
All of a sudden there is light tapping on the window and the old man reappears.
"There he is again," the passenger yells.
He rolls down the window and shakily says, "Yes?"
"Do you have a light?" the old man asks.
The passenger throw a lighter out the window and says to his friend, "Step on it!"
They are now driving at 100 kilometres an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen, when again the tapping occurs.
"Oh my god! He's back!" The passenger rolls down the window and screams in stark terror,"What now?"
The old man gently replies, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"
--------
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: " You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
--------
A guy is in a bar in a skyscraper high above the city, slamming tequilas.
He then suddenly jumps out of the window. The guy sitting next to him is shocked.
He is more surprise when, ten minutes later, the first guy walks back into the bar unscathed.
The astonished man ask,"How did you do that?"
The jumper responds in a slur, "Well, i don't know! when i jump, the tequila makes me slow down before i hit the ground, Watch."
He takes a shot, slams it down and jump out. The other man now watches as he falls until right before the ground, slows down
and lands softly on his feet.
The other guy now decides to try it too.
He drinks a shot, jump out of the window.......and goes splatt!!!!
The first guy now orders another shot, and the bartender says to him, "You're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
--------
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pull out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food."
The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary to 'panda' : "A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."
--------
A BUSINESSMAN was opening a new outlet and one of his friends sent him flowers. The bouquet duly arrived. But the buinessman was furious when he saw the card.
It read: "Rest in Peace." Angrily, he called the florist to complain.
The florist apologised profusely and said: "Sir, I'm really sorry. But rather than getting angry, just imagine this: Somewhere, there is a funeral taking place and they have flowers with a note that says "Congratulations on your new location."
--------
Okay. The jokes aside now .. hmm. There's really nothing much going on for me, I guess. Other the normal book-out routine of friends/movies/arcade stage 4/bio zhar bor and more,
nothing much there.
Oh well ..
Yeah, this entry is one week late. Finally, BMT is over. And with it, the 1 week long break that accompanies it is coming to an end. With just 4 hrs or so before I book in, the urge to go get an MC or something along that line comes back greater then ever. BUT .. lame ideas aside, here's some laugther therapy [ courtesy of sgforums.com ] for myself [ and for any other poor soul in need of some TLC. ]
--------
A cowboy rides into town and stops at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals have a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finishes his drink, he finds his horse has been stolen.
He goes back into the bar, flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head and fires a shot into the ceiling.
"Which one of you yahoos stole my horse?" he yells forcefully.
No one answers.
"All right!! I'm going to have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm going to have to do what I did back in Texas...and I
don't LIKE having to do what I did in Texas!"
The locals now get a bit nervous..
The cowboy has another beer, and then walks outside to find that his horse has been returned. He saddles up and starts to ride out of town. As he does, the bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, "Say, partner, before you go.......tell us, what exactly did you do back in Texas?''
The cowboy turned back and says sheepishly, "Oh, I had to walk home."
--------
Three Texan cowboys get drunk and end up n jail. They then find out that they are to be executed for their crimes--but none of them can remember what they have done.
The first one strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am from the Baylor School of Divinity and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent."
The guards throw the switch nothing happens. They figure that God must not want this guy to die, and they let him go.
The second one is strapped in and gives his last words: "I'm from the University of Texas School of Law and I believe that justice will always intervene on the part of the innocent."
The switch is thrown and again nothing happens. The guards figure that the law is on this guy's side and also let him go.
The last one is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm an electrical engineer--and I'll tell you right now you'll never electrocute anyone if you don't connect those two wires first!!"
--------
Two guys leave a bar after a long night of drinking, jump in the car and start it up. After a few minutes, an old man appears by the passenger window and taps lightly on it. The passenger screams, "Look! There's an old ghost's face there!"
The driver speeds up, but the old man's face stays in the window. The passenger rolls his window down and, scared out of his wits, says "What do you want?"
the old man replies, "Have you got any cigarette to spare?"
The passenger hands the man a cigarette and yells, "Step on it," to the driver, rolling up the window in terror.
A few minutes later they calm down and start laughing again. The driver says, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry, the speedometer says we're doing 80 now."
All of a sudden there is light tapping on the window and the old man reappears.
"There he is again," the passenger yells.
He rolls down the window and shakily says, "Yes?"
"Do you have a light?" the old man asks.
The passenger throw a lighter out the window and says to his friend, "Step on it!"
They are now driving at 100 kilometres an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen, when again the tapping occurs.
"Oh my god! He's back!" The passenger rolls down the window and screams in stark terror,"What now?"
The old man gently replies, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"
--------
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: " You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
--------
A guy is in a bar in a skyscraper high above the city, slamming tequilas.
He then suddenly jumps out of the window. The guy sitting next to him is shocked.
He is more surprise when, ten minutes later, the first guy walks back into the bar unscathed.
The astonished man ask,"How did you do that?"
The jumper responds in a slur, "Well, i don't know! when i jump, the tequila makes me slow down before i hit the ground, Watch."
He takes a shot, slams it down and jump out. The other man now watches as he falls until right before the ground, slows down
and lands softly on his feet.
The other guy now decides to try it too.
He drinks a shot, jump out of the window.......and goes splatt!!!!
The first guy now orders another shot, and the bartender says to him, "You're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
--------
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pull out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food."
The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary to 'panda' : "A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."
--------
A BUSINESSMAN was opening a new outlet and one of his friends sent him flowers. The bouquet duly arrived. But the buinessman was furious when he saw the card.
It read: "Rest in Peace." Angrily, he called the florist to complain.
The florist apologised profusely and said: "Sir, I'm really sorry. But rather than getting angry, just imagine this: Somewhere, there is a funeral taking place and they have flowers with a note that says "Congratulations on your new location."
--------
Okay. The jokes aside now .. hmm. There's really nothing much going on for me, I guess. Other the normal book-out routine of friends/movies/arcade stage 4/bio zhar bor and more,
nothing much there.
Oh well ..
With minutes to go before I book into camp for yet another time, I shall skip the formalities here and go straight to the point.
Wonderful, huh?
Anyway, it seems like the dark cloud above me has brightened that little bit more. With just 2 weeks to go, one can say that I'm near the end of my BMT [ with just my 16 and 24km route march + field camp to go before my POP :) ] And yes, it seems like my sergeant has a favorable opinion of me - I'll be staying back in the unit as an infantryman. Ditto if it sounds good or bad though, guess I'll just play it by the ear and see how everything turns out.
Other then that, I guess I'm doing okay now.
Oh well. Time to go. Take care all.
Wonderful, huh?
Anyway, it seems like the dark cloud above me has brightened that little bit more. With just 2 weeks to go, one can say that I'm near the end of my BMT [ with just my 16 and 24km route march + field camp to go before my POP :) ] And yes, it seems like my sergeant has a favorable opinion of me - I'll be staying back in the unit as an infantryman. Ditto if it sounds good or bad though, guess I'll just play it by the ear and see how everything turns out.
Other then that, I guess I'm doing okay now.
Oh well. Time to go. Take care all.
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